Skills for positive parenting

  • Published
  • By Family Advocacy Program staff
MALMSTROM AIR FORCE BASE, Mont. --  April is Child Abuse Awareness Month. One way to prevent child abuse is through positive parenting. No matter what age they are, children test limits. Unfortunately, testing limits can often lead to pushing parents' buttons. By learning how to solve conflicts with children in healthy, productive ways parents can help children grow towards independence while keeping harmony in homes.

Young children want to know how far they can go and how far parents will let them go. Until they begin school, parents are usually their primary role models. Use a loving tone and a gentle touch to let children know exactly where the limits are.

School-age children are actively involved in a larger social group. Other children and teachers influence them. School can be exciting and scary for some children. It's very important at this age for children to feel their parent's love, support and belief in them.

Teenagers may feel grown up, but parents tend to still see them as children. The influence of their friends is very strong. Setting rules with teenagers and not for teenagers is important in making them feel they are listened to and respected.

Talking and listening are simple, but often ignored as the most valuable skills parents have. Listening is important, as it makes people feel valued by others. Even very small children need to be heard. Their language skills may make it difficult, but take the time to listen until it's understood how they feel. Listening is also the best way for parents to learn about what's happening in their children's lives outside the home. No matter how old children are, they all want to feel valued and loved.

Work with children to help them set and achieve their own goals. If goals are set for them, they may become frustrated or resentful. Praise children's small accomplishments. Parents should focus on specific behaviors with their child they would like changed, rather then entire personality traits.

Often parents have good intentions, but when conflicts get worse instead of better, reaching out for help is an excellent idea. Parents are not weak or a failure if they ask for suggestions from a therapist. It is well worth the time and effort if it helps parents and their child get along better.

Family Advocacy offers therapy to families, couples or individuals who need someone to talk with. Parenting classes, anger management classes and couples communication are just a few of the classes offered on base for Malmstrom families.  For more information on classes offered or to see a therapist, call. 731-2161.