October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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MALMSTROM AIR FORCE BASE, Mont. --  "Someday Alice, POW, right in the kisser," Jackie Gleason playing Ralph Cramden in the "Honeymooners" used to tell his sitcom wife. That line elicited laughs 40 years ago, but today it would not because we are becoming more aware of domestic violence and its devastating effects on families and communities. Domestic violence is a pervasive problem, and domestic abuse and battery between partners is a serious offense that must be stopped. 

The President has designated October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month in an effort to raise awareness of the horrors of domestic abuse. A woman is beaten every 15 seconds; every six hours a woman is murdered at the hands of her abuser; and at least one in three women is abused during pregnancy. The startling reality is that one in every four women will be a victim of domestic violence during her lifetime, according to a Family Violence Prevention Fund fact sheet. 

Consider the fact presented by the Putting an End to Abuse through Community Efforts Initiative (P.E.A.C.E.) that in 1998, the San Antonio police department responded to family violence and domestic disturbance calls, one call every 15 minutes day and night all year long. Now consider all the calls the police didn't receive from victims and you get a truer picture of the magnitude of the problem. What does this mean to you? There is a good chance that a person you know, a woman or a man who may sit next to you in your place of worship, has or will be a victim of abuse. 

Therapists tell us all children living in an abusive family, whether or not they are hit, are traumatized and will likely carry this abuse with them into their relationships when they grow up. Domestic violence takes on many forms. It is the desperate abuse of power and control used against a family member or partner. It can be physical, verbal, psychological, sexual or emotional in nature. It can include physical assaults, threats, yelling, criticism, intimidation, harassment, isolation, pressure tactics, sexual assault, violence towards pets or destruction of property. (source: 1996 Report of the American Psychological Association.) 

It is a common myth this violence only happens to people from a certain economic group, educational level, race or ethnic group. Many want to believe it couldn't happen to people from their neighborhood or place of worship. People of faith are not immune to this type of violence. It does not discriminate. It happens to people of every economic group, educational background, race, and religion (source: Breaking The Silence of Violence-A Publication of the Committee on the Status of Women - Episcopal Church USA). 

Individually and collectively one would hope we strive for justice and peace among all people and we respect the dignity of every human being - which means we respect our families and ourselves too. Unfortunately, we live in a society that condones and tolerates violence in many ways. It has long been considered a private matter by bystanders - including neighbors, the community and government. But such private matters have a tendency to become public tragedies. The highly publicized trial of O. J. Simpson, the retired football player acquitted of the murder of his former wife and a male friend of hers, helped focus international media attention on the issue of domestic violence and spousal abuse. 

Domestic Violence is a problem that knows no social boundaries or class distinction, and affects thousands of families annually. Yet, domestic violence is one of the most misunderstood crimes in our country and often the least obvious. Given the complexity and prevalence of domestic violence we must all do our part to "Stand Up and Speak Out." Education is the best defense against domestic violence-from identifying the signs, to understanding the cycle of abuse and the behavior of both the abuser and the victim. Only through understanding can we help families affected by Domestic Violence to fight back. 

No one deserves to be hurt or hit. If you or someone you care about has been abused by a partner or a family member, or if you let your pain and anger turn to violence, seek help by calling The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or the Family Advocacy Office at 731-2161. It may save your life or the life of a friend.