Month of the Military Child: Good Sportsmanship

  • Published
  • By James Muscle
  • Youth Sports Director
MALMSTROM AIR FORCE BASE, Mont. --  Chuck ran to the bench in tears after the final buzzer. The tears had nothing to do with the outcome of the game, score or how the other players treated him. The climactic end had overwhelmed the spectators and coaches alike. Chuck was in tears because he knew that his mother was upset with the way he had played. She made that very clear to him in front of his teammates at the end of the game. He was embarrassed and under a huge amount of stress, he was not having fun. Chuck never played basketball again; in fact, he never played any organized sports again. Chuck was only 13 years old.

Chances are you have witnessed this at any number of sporting events you may have attended. Some parents forget why we play sports and what messages are being sent when they lose control and act inappropriately. These parents can get so wrapped up in winning and losing or how well their kids perform that they lose sight of what is really important. Some of the most important goals in youth sports are to promote a sense of good sportsmanship and to have fun while learning.

Good sportsmanship is when teammates, opponents, coaches and officials treat each other with respect. Kids learn the basics of sportsmanship from the adults in their lives, especially their parents and their coaches. Kids who see adults behaving in a sportsmanlike way gradually come to understand that the real winners in sports are those who know behave with dignity regardless of which team wins or loses.

The saying, "Actions speak louder than words" is especially true when it comes to teaching your kids the basics of good sportsmanship. Your behavior during practices and games will influence them more than any pep talk or lecture you give them.

Here are some suggestions on how to build sportsmanship in your kids:
· Unless you're coaching your child's team, remember you're the parent. Shout words of encouragement, not directions, from the sidelines - there is a difference. 

· If you are coaching your own child, don't expect too much from them. Don't be harder on him or her than on anyone else on the team, but don't play favorites either. 

· Keep comments positive. Don't badmouth coaches, players or officials. If you have a serious concern about the way that games or practices are being conducted, or if you are upset about other parents' behavior, discuss it privately with the coach or with a league official away from the game. 

· After a competition, it's important not to dwell on who won or lost. Instead, try asking, "How did you feel you did during the game?" If your child feels weak at a particular skill, like throwing or catching, offer to work on that skill together before the next game. 

· Applaud good plays no matter who makes them. 

· Set a good example with your courteous behavior towards the parents of kids on the other team. Congratulate them when their kids win a game. 

· Remember, it's your kids, not you, playing the game. Don't push them into a sport because it's what you enjoyed. As kids get older, let them choose what sports they want to play and decide the level of commitment they want to make. 

· Keep your perspective. It's just a game. Even if the team loses every game of the season, it's unlikely to ruin your child's life or chances of success. 

· Look for examples of good sportsmanship in professional athletes and point them out to your kids. Talk about the bad examples too, and why they made bad choices. 

· Finally, don't forget to have fun. Enjoy the game while you are thinking of all the benefits your child is gaining - new skills, friendships, challenges and attitudes that will help all through life. 

· Remember - good sportsmanship lasts a lifetime.